I've been having a tough time.
I'm just forgetful, and spacey, and my mouth doesn't always say what my brain was trying to tell it to say.
Today I left my best coat behind at a meeting. Fortunately, people from the meeting held onto it for me, and I will get it back tomorrow. I also lost my glasses a few times more than usual--but always found them. Yesterday, I tried to order a burrito bowl at Chipotle, and although I wanted black beans, and I looked at the black beans and thought black beans in my head, my mouth asked for "pinto beans," so pinto is what I got, and it tasted fine.
I'm behind. I shake. I went to the doctor today, and the receptionist and nurse both grilled me on why I was there, at which point I choked and almost started crying. All I knew is that the doctor had told me to make the appointment before I left the last time. I had not called them out of the blue and set up the appointment. The nurse was just getting ready to send me home, when the doctor breezed in and cleared everything up, saving me from bursting into embarrassed tears.
Right now, I am banking on grace, because without grace I am lost, a cooked goose, dead in the water. I require forgiveness, forbearance, patience and help.
I am thankful for every person who has treated me kindly, despite my shortcomings. Most of all, I am thankful for God. I know that grace comes at a cost to others, and I am sorry that I am such a taker.
It is a paradox, isn't it? How God's grace is as costly as the completely unique blood of His perfect Son, but at the same time it is infinitely available, and free of charge. Can you wrap your mind around that?
Grace is when you get better than what you deserve. It's important to be mindful of grace, because if you aren't, you quickly develop an entitlement mentality.
As I look back on my track record over the past few days, it is abundantly clear that I deserve much, much worse than what I have received.
This is why I am so incredibly thankful for grace.