Truth be told, I have been struggling to be thankful, and the struggle threatens to rob me of joy.
Our house in Illinois has not sold, which breaks my heart, because I loved it so much after I got it all arranged to suit my preferences, and it was so pretty while I had it staged. Now it is torn apart, shorn, stripped, and vacated. It was a such a glorious, sunny place to live, right there on the edge of the nature preserve. It will be okay, I tell myself, all the while fearing that God might be punishing me for moving "because I wanted to" and not because I had to.
My niece's baby is having a very rough recovery after a very serious surgery. That is all I will say about that, because I don't want to violate any privacy issues, but it has been a struggle to stay positive. Babies are so precious, so beloved, so fragile and innocent. It is an excruciating thing.
My lupus has been on the edge, and I vacillate between feeling rough and feeling terrible.
And, it's stupid, I know, but my left index finger with the broken fingernail is a constant irritation.
Mostly, though, it's been the lupus keeping me from blogging. I have other things I also need to do, and I have energy to get approximately one thing done per day, and the one thing generally isn't blogging.
Those are my complaints. Some of them are actually a pretty big deal, and others are ridiculous, but that's how life is, I guess. Chemotherapy will get you down, but so will a sprained toe.
I am thankful, really I am.
I was discouraged a week ago, and I prayed and asked God for some encouragement. Shortly thereafter, a new neighbor contacted me to see if I would like to go for a walk with her, and and old friend texted out of the blue to say she was praying for me. How can you not be thankful when God answers prayer like that?
Shawn and I have taken some lovely walks...
and visited some interesting churches. God speaks to us wherever we go, faithfully and kindly, and this is a mercy for which we give thanks.
We have furniture now, and I rejoice.
We got a new shower-head, the removable kind that sprays wherever you want to spray, with a bunch of different settings, and much improved water pressure, so that has been marvelous.
I've joined BSF, which gives me Bible lessons to focus on, which is always a help. We are doing Acts, so it helps me remember the amazing gift we have in the Holy Spirit. I am reminded of His wondrous power and I am reminded to ask Him to fill me. This is, indeed, something to be thankful for.
This past weekend, we had our great room, foyer and dining room repainted. They aren't exactly as I had pictured they would be; they are bluer. But the great room and foyer are a lovely light blue (Glimmer by SW). I thought it would be greener, but I don't mind that it isn't. The dining room is also light blue, but--in the swatches--it looked considerably darker than the other color, and more blue-gray and less green (Tradewind by SW). Up on the wall, it almost looks like the same color, although if you study it, you can see that it is a bit darker. In any event, everything is lighter and brighter than before, and feels uplifting, and I like it. So I'm thankful for that.
We found a new chair that matches our new (not blue) bedroom, on Craigslist. We bought it and brought it home on Saturday. It was quite a find, and I'm very happy with it, very thankful.
On Sunday, we heard a sermon about Psalm 1, and I was again reminded of how blessed I am to have the righteousness of Christ,
which qualifies me to receive the promises of God:
to walk in fellowship with Him,
to have a new heart that works in harmony with the moral universe,
to tabernacle the Holy Spirit in my body,
to look forward to a glorious eternal inheritance that will never spoil or fade, that is kept for me and I for it, so I do not have to fear losing it. (That is also a theme in the 1 Peter passage we are studying in BSF tonight.)
God is always with me, and He will never leave me nor forsake me. He has called me into His kingdom and made a way for me to have access to His throne through Christ. He forgives me. He helps me. He teaches me. He encourages me. He fights for me. He loves me. How could I not be thankful?
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