Hoping hard

Tomorrow they are coming to tear out my kitchen.

I have not even started shopping for appliances.

I am trying to breathe deep and slow, staving off a panic attack.

I emptied a lot of cabinets yesterday.

Last night I broiled steak and we ate it with mashed potatoes and collard greens.

No plan for dinner tonight, but I am going to try to make something on my last night with a stove.

The flooring arrived on Monday, early, but with a lot of damage.  It came on one small pallet, the only freight in the entire 80 foot FedEx delivery truck.  Wow.

Schubert is still having trouble with his sore mouth.  The vet gave us a disinfecting gel to apply to his gums, but it has Vitamin C in it.  I think it stings his sores.

Yesterday I hurt myself working too hard, so I was not up to going out on errands with Shawn in the evening.  It was too cold and slippery for me to go by myself during the day.  Today is cold too, but perhaps not as slippery.  I may drive to town after I take Schubert to the vet.

I thought we had paid for my breast biopsy, but we got another bill that is 75% as big as the original one.  Sigh.  I wonder how many separate bills we will receive for the hysterectomy.  Do they think it hurts less if they break it up into three or four separate bills?  Maybe it does, at least at the beginning.

I hope I can find good appliances that are reasonably priced, reliable and durable.

I hope the kitchen stuff I picked out looks ok when it is assembled.

I hope the flooring works out, and we get enough replacement flooring to be able to finish the job.

I hope my kids are all ok in their far corners of the country, but I am glad that they will not be here while the house is torn up, for their sakes as well as mine.  Perhaps I will be able to visit some of them.  That would be a huge blessing!

I hope the kitchen is done by March 1 when Jon and Laura come home for their break.  Oh, how I hope.  Is it even safe to say such a thing?  Or am I just inviting calamity and catastrophe?

I hope we can find health insurance.   I have started trying to find some, but it is confusing, frightening and daunting.  I hope God will help me.

I hope a lot of things.  Does this mean that I am a hopeful person?  And if so, does it mean that I am becoming optimistic in my older age?

Can you be optimistic and still have a severe stomach ache?