Wednesday, May 28, 2008

lazy me

I haven't been on the computer so much lately, which is probably good.

I rarely answer my phone, but lately I haven't even been listening to messages on the answering machine or answering email.

We did install new laminate floors in two bedrooms recently.  And the pool is almost open.  Anyway, it looks open, which is good enough for now.  It's too cold to swim, anyway.  This morning the temperature in the house had fallen to 64, so I turned the heat on again.

I have been so tired.  I hardly have the energy to do any gardening.  I used to love gardening.  Last weekend I planted three pots of flowers, and then I went inside to sew a curtain for the boys' newly remodeled bedroom.

I dropped out of Book Review Friday, basically because I don't have time to do it along with my Tuesday morning Bible study.  We do about three chapters per week and are nearly finished with 2 Kings.  I do not understand why this takes so much out of me.  I used to teach Sunday school to third and fourth graders and also lead the Tuesday Bible study, AND send out nearly daily emails with comments on the daily scripture readings for the Bible study.  Now I prepare one lesson for Tuesday mornings and I'm bushed.  What gives?

Am I outside the Will of God?

Am I still in a weakened state from the flu I had last winter?

Am I going through menopause?

Is it a sin to take a nap?  How about multiple naps?  I am haunted by Proverbs 6:10-11, "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest-- and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man."

But there is also Psalm 127:2, "In vain you rise early and stay up late toiling for food to eat--for He grants sleep to those He loves."

We may have an opportunity to buy some land and move out to the country, but I look around at all that needs to be done in order to accomplish that, and I feel nausea in my stomach, tears welling up around my eyes.

I think I'm pathologically lazy.  Proverbs 26:15 says, "The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth."  I have an opportunity right in front of me, but I feel too 
overwhelmed to take action on it.

By the way, I hate Opera.  I am trying to write in Opera right now, and the html is all messed up and I have no idea how to fix it.  When the formatting of one of my posts is particularly awkward, it is because I was in Opera.  My bookmarks are all in Opera, and I am too lazy to figure out how to change them.

Well, I need to go change beds and do laundry and clean toilets and make granola bars.  That sort of stuff.  And shower.

DJ is going to New Orleans with the jazz band today.  He took his suitcase to school and they will leave for the airport shortly after lunch.  I am stressed silly about this, to the point where I am in total avoidance and trying not to even think about it.

If I get some work done, I will reward myself by listening to Colin Smith and then perhaps I will feel better.

This is a super dumb post.  I should have written about how Jonathan played his trumpet in the Memorial Day Parade last Monday.


Shannon said...

Hello Ruth. I've been checking in on your blog now and then. So, you dropped out of BRF. Its too bad, but at the same time, you already study your Bible anyway. It really is encouraging to find other women with a passion to know the Word of God, whether they read along with 'Watch the Sky' or not. :) Even if you don't read with me, I'm still going to say hello now and then. Your blog brings a smile and a laugh many times.
I also haven't forgotten about the tag. I'll get around to it. honest. :)

MacCárthaigh Family said...

Ah Ruth,
sounds like things are getting you down a bit. You're too tough on yourself and not lazy, just human, just tired. We are all getting just a little bit older! (Thanks for the 'happy birthday by the way!)

I had begun to see a difference in my energy levels when I passed 35... You cant be all things to all people.

It sounds like the party you threw your son was just what any 17 year old would like. Nice to see the photos. I always thought having my birthday in May was good but then, I would because it is mine, so it was nice to hear your opinion on May. Sean's birthday is on Saturday and we hope to have a beach party/BBQ... if the weather holds. It's lovely here at the moment. I have been sitting out the back all afternoon, resting etc... and I don't feel a bit guilty!!!

God continue to bless lyou.

MacCárthaigh Family said...

Oh, forgot to say, I have posted about Kate if you want to check it out..