The last five years of my life have entailed a difficult and painful journey, forcing me to deal with issues I never imagined experiencing. I suppose I had a warped and deluded view of myself as somehow, for some reason, immune to these things. God has saved me from that delusion. He is humbling me, and I know His humbling is healthy. Satan means these things for evil and destruction, but God uses them for good.
And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.
~Romans 8:28
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.
~Psalm 23:4a
During this difficult journey, sometimes I run into discouragement. Sometimes people, intending to encourage, say things that profoundly discourage me. One of the most discouraging words of encouragement I have received is: "When you have faith, you will not be fearful." Another version of it is: "Faith and fear never go together."
I confess that I experience fear, anxiety and dread. At times, these emotions have commandeered my very body, producing headaches, nausea, trembling, and even heart palpitations. At the same time, I cling to a deep, abiding faith in God. God Himself has granted this gift of faith to me: I believe that God is for me. He is good. He hears and answers my prayers (not always the way I wish He would, but He does hear and answer with compassion and grace). God is sovereign and in control. God has good plans and almighty power to carry them out. God is always with me in the here and now, and someday He will bring me to a New Heaven and a New Earth where there will be no more suffering, sadness, disappointment or fear.
I have faith, and I also experience fear on this earth. I am not afraid of eternal destruction; I know God promises to bring me home to heaven. I am not afraid that God might abandon me before that day. These truths help me immeasurably. However, I do fear pain, and sadness, and trouble. I don't like pain, sadness and trouble. Nobody does, and I don't think we are supposed to. God didn't create us for pain, sadness or trouble. These things are in the world as a result of sin. God doesn't expect us to like them, only to persevere through them, trusting Him to make all things new.
We trust God to make all things new, but trusting doesn't make our endurance and perseverance free from pain and fear. If it were easy, we would not need to endure and persevere. We would simply float along.
It seems like Jesus Himself struggled with fear, or at least dread, before He went to the cross:
And He withdrew about a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will but yours be done." And there appeared to Him an angel from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony He prayed more earnestly; and His sweat became like great drops of blood, falling to the ground. (Luke 22:42-44)
Do you know what the Bible says? The Bible says, "When I am afraid, I put my trust in You" (Psalm 56:3). When I am afraid. This is an acknowledgment that fear will, at times, rise up in our hearts. Then King David (who wrote this psalm), goes on to say, "In God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?" So, he finishes looking to eternity: If I am eternally secure, protected by the Almighty God of the Universe, I do not need to be afraid. What can flesh do to me? Well, mortal people can shun me, mock me, steal from me, lock me up, torture me, and all manner of terrible things. They can even kill my body, but they can't separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus my Lord. They can't take away my eternal inheritance in glory.
I maintain that I may experience fear in the present, fear of temporary, earthly experiences, circumstances and tragedies. I may dread the trouble that looms on the horizon. But my dread is always mitigated by God's promises and God's character; He is always at work planning ultimate good for us.
Do you know what we do not have to fear? We do not have to fear shame.
I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Psalm 34:4-5)
I think this may be part of what it means when John writes, "Perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). We do not need to fear shame. We can come open and vulnerable before God, exposing all our sinful failings. In fact, we must do this. His promise is that when we confess our sins, He is faithful and and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). We confess all the things we are ashamed of, and He responds with nothing but forgiveness and cleansing. We don't need to be afraid of this process. Where sin increases, grace abounds all the more (Romans 5:20).
In God's Kingdom, we have no need to hide our sins. We can look straight at our past, with no fear, because after we have been redeemed, every failure is another marker to show where the power of Jesus Christ has triumphed. When we look back at how low we had sunk, we can appreciate how far God has lifted us in redemption.
Our sins do not define us.
Our deliverance demonstrates God's victory over sin.
If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. (1 John 1:7)
Jesus promised us peace, because He knew we would face fearsome circumstances. He does not shame us for being afraid; rather, He encourages us to keep our eyes on the prize of eternity in perfect fellowship with Him.
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
(John 16:33)
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
(2 Corinthians 4:17-18)
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