Unappealing stories

I have had The Portrait of a Lady for approximately 33 years, yet I cannot bring myself to finish it.

I have never been able to finish Where the Red Fern Grows, either.  And I've never even forced myself to start The Red Badge of Courage.

Some books are simply too terrible; I can't face them.  Tess of the d'Urbervilles was a similarly horrible story, but I did read that one.  I also read The Book Thief, but it left me depressed for weeks.

When a movie gets too sad, or too violent, or just too intense for me, I leave the room.  I check the laundry, take the dog out, wipe down the kitchen counters, floss my teeth, anything to center me in the real, seemingly-safe environment of my familiar home, and away from the turmoil.

Why do people like to watch sad, scary or gory things?  It makes no sense to me.  If we seek entertainment to escape, why not escape to something lovely?  Countrysides, mountains, blue sky over an ocean, lush flowers, kindness and grace.  Who would opt for a shoot out and a car chase that ends in a tangle of mangled metal?  Why?

Days come when I wish I could set down the story of my own family's life like a book, close it and walk away.  You can't escape your own real life, though.  It's always there waiting for you when you get home from the beach.

My heart is distressed within me,

and terrors of death come down on me.

Fear and trembling get hold of me

and horror overpowers me.

So I said, "Oh, had I the wings of a dove,

then I would fly away and be at rest.

Yes, then I would wander far away,

and lodge in the desert.

I would hasten to my place of refuge,

from this raging wind and storm."

~Psalm 55:4-8

Hard things can seem surreal, but they aren't.  It's the easy things; the perfect days are the fantasies.  Except, the perfect days can be gifts.

Actually, the hard things can be gifts, too.  It is humbling to admit and accept this.  It is hard to trust in His work when He uses suffering to produce character (Romans 5:3-4), and He makes His power perfect through our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).  It is hard, and it is humbling, but if we can submit to the process, we will find joy.

God has set eternity in our hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11).  We long for paradise, but it isn't the right time yet.  Only God knows when He will deliver us into the New Heaven and the New Earth.  In the meantime, He is mercifully gathering more souls into His Kingdom.

For now, we walk by faith in His goodness.  We believe that He will accomplish His good purposes, and that there will be relief.

This world is not my home

I'm just a passin' through,

My treasures are laid up

somewhere beyond the blue.

The angels beckon me 

from heaven's open door,

and I can't feel at home 

in this world anymore.

Yet, He sustains us here and now with His Spirit, carrying us along, through the pain and the loss and the disappointment.  He gives us hope.  He strengthens us for each day.

He strengthens us, and we persevere.  We endure.  We hope and we trust.  We keep turning the pages and reading the story He writes, even when we don't relish it.

Because, where else would we go?  He has the words of eternal life (John 6:68).