While going through my old MSWord files this afternoon, I came across an essay I started about nine years ago, and I decided to try to finish it up and "publish" it here.
"Dysfunctionality" is such a buzzword these days, it surprises me that conservatives have not capitalized on it in the war on abortion. Well, maybe not, since so-called conservatives no longer seem to take a stand on abortion. But for the grassroots conservatives who do...
While the battle rages on, abortion is compared to murder and aborted babies are compared to slaves before civil rights came to pass. From the conservative point of view, this is well and good and logical. But it is an approach that continually fails to have any effect whatsoever on the right-to-choose psyche. It seems that it might be time to attempt a new approach and a new terminology.
Abortion is a symptom of a sexually dysfunctional society. The problem is an unrestrained and overindulgent national appetite for sex. But how can this be proven to people whose belief system approves of sex at any time, for any reason and in any way?
Perhaps we can try by comparing the basic drive for sex to the basic drive for food. People have a natural inner drive to eat. We have to eat, or we would die. However, it does not follow that eating everything we might like to eat (and doing so more often than a few times a day) is good for us. We know that we must put limits on our eating in order to remain healthy. Therefore, the United States government has gone so far as to create lists and guidelines to try to help people make healthy eating decisions: Eat more fruit and vegetables, lots of whole grains and a proper amount of lean meat. Limit fats, sugars and refined white flour. Do not over-indulge in huge portions. Drink a lot of water, an appropriate amount of milk and limit sodas and sugary juices. We all know these things. It is simple math, really. People know what they should do: if they do it, they are healthy but if they struggle to control their drive for food, they tend to get fat.
It isn’t so different with sex, except that nobody in the secular world seems to face the fact that there are guidelines that can govern our sexuality and keep us healthy. Guidelines for “safe sex” according to the Powers That Be (whomever they are—but they seem to have a real foothold in the public schools, libraries and clinics) consist of merely one rule, “Wear a condom.” Well, that’s kind of like saying, “Use Nutra-sweet instead of sugar.” It could be of mild benefit in some cases, but mostly it leads to a false sense of security, and in some ways it can cause more problems than it solves.
I’m not going to get into one of my anti-aspartame tirades right now, because that is a topic for a whole different day. Let me just say that the diet product industry is akin to the birth control industry. It’s all about trying to abet people in believing that they can have their pleasure for free—enjoy their indulgences with no cost. It leads to a twisted perspective on the meaning of eating and the meaning of sex. The pleasurable acts are taken as something separate from the function that they are intended to perform—the continuation of life, whether individually by nourishment or socially by procreation. God never intended for these things to be separated in this way. In His mercy, He made the acts pleasurable so that we would be motivated to continue life, but they were given to us for a purpose, a purpose that we often want to limit and escape.
Just as we need to eat or we will die, so we need to procreate, or humanity will die out. However, we can easily see that too much eating is ultimately unhealthy, and the parallel holds true for too much sex. Too much sex is disastrous for society. Too much unbridled sex leads to ghettos full of unwed mothers and illegitimate children, which leads to poverty which leads to crime and substance abuse. Um, bingo. The downfall of American society as we see it today. But nobody wants to admit it. Freedom of sexual expression has practically been written into the Bill of Rights. Sexual disorder? The only sexual disorder people seem willing to acknowledge is the inability to perform a sexual act. This is a frighteningly inaccurate way to view the issue.
Although deviant sexual behavior is rarely identified, it is generally agreed that there are such things as eating disorders. One of the most famous of these is Bulimia, where an individual, usually a young girl, binges on vast quantities of food and then proceeds to plunge her fingers down her throat and regurgitate the vile contents of her stomach. This is her way of purging her body and escaping the consequences of her previously overindulged appetite. There is a direct and obvious parallel to abortion here. When the sexual urge is overindulged in inappropriate ways, an unwanted pregnancy often occurs. To escape the consequences of this unwanted pregnancy, a girl (woman if you will) has an abortion, purging her body of the byproduct of her sexually promiscuous behavior.
Nearly everyone agrees that Bulimia constitutes dysfunctional behavior. Indeed, psychologists and psychiatrists are hired and paid handsomely to treat it. Its detrimental effects are widely publicized to young women. Health classes in public schools repeatedly warn young people about the dangers of eating disorders. Who hasn't heard that Bulimia can burn out one's esophagus and rot one's teeth? No credible health practitioner would ever prescribe Bulimia as a method for treating obesity. However, doctors in professional settings routinely perform abortions to treat the consequences of overly sexualized behavior, while minimizing the health risks. This seems illogical, since hemorrhaging, infertility, and breast cancer would seem to be greater threats to one's long term well being than rotten teeth and esophageal ulcers.
Rather than identifying abortion as an unhealthy escape from the consequences of dysfunctional behavior, “education” systems present it as a viable option for dealing with an unwanted pregnancy. The root of the problem stems from the rampant acceptance that our society at large holds for dysfunctional sexual indulgence. Young people are actually encouraged to do such things as, “Discover your sexual orientation,” and, “Express your sexuality.” From movies and television programs to commercials that people don’t even make a conscious decision to watch, pervasive bumping, grinding, groaning, back-arching, panting and disrobing combine to convince the empty-minded public that orgasm is the ultimate raison-d’être, and that You have both the right and the responsibility to obtain as much of it as possible.
So while the high school health teachers hand out photocopies of the FDA approved dietary standards and encourage young people with eating problems to seek help immediately, they lay out no real standards for healthy sexuality. This is incomprehensible when you realize that they do teach about AIDS, herpes and the plethora of other sexually transmitted diseases. Healthy sex should be recommended to take place between two people, preferably both over 18 years of age, only within the context of a heterosexual, single-partner, committed relationship (marriage), always with the understanding that sex is connected to procreation and should not take place outside of a loving family environment. These recommendations are based on what science shows us is healthy for our bodies.
We must somehow find a way to educate the public that abortion is a dysfunctional response to a dysfunctional sexual behavior. Women who have abortions need therapy, not "choice." (And doctors who perform abortions should lose their licenses to practice—whatever happened to “First do no harm…”?)
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Vanity, pride, guilt and fear
I haven’t posted in a long time. This is not because I have nothing to write. It is because I have a lot going on.
For one thing, and I’m just going to put it out there: I got braces.
If that doesn’t feel like the most vain, self-centered, selfish use of family resources, I don’t know what is. And I do not say this to be disrespectful of other adults with braces. I know some absolutely lovely people who have braces. That’s why I had the courage to go through with it at all. I could think, “Well, she’s a really nice, loving, giving person, and she has braces, so maybe it wouldn’t be a mortal sin for me to get them, too.”
When the braces cause me pain, I can’t help feeling that it is penance that I am required to serve for my vanity.
I have bad gum recession and extremely sensitive teeth where some of their necks are completely exposed. This causes additional pain with the braces—especially when I am trying to dislodge food that has become stuck in the braces. More penance. And I have an additional fear that when all is said and done, my newly straightened teeth will all fall out and I will have to get dentures anyway.
So on top of the regular pain of braces, I have the “through the roof” pain of my sensitive exposed tooth roots, and loads of guilt and fear.
It was an experience having these braces put on.
I went in to the orthodontist’s office wondering if I really wanted to do this. The technician greeted me and said, “How are you today?” Suddenly, I felt tears welling up behind my eyes and a choking lump in my throat. “I’m kind of nervous,” I whispered, willing myself not to cry. Forty-two year olds don’t cry in orthodontist offices before anything has even happened. “You look kind of nervous,” the technician told me. I guess it’s hard not to look nervous when it’s taking all your powers of concentration to hold back a flood of humiliating tears. The orthodontist came over and the technician said to him, “This is Ruth. She’s a little nervous.”
“Well,” said Dr. Smith, “Ruth has had braces before, so maybe she knows what she’s in for.”
I’m thinking, Don’t remind me. Don’t make me think about this. Should I bolt? What would happen if I bolted? Could I get any of my money back?
Anyway, I laid down in the chair and they inserted numerous plastic frameworks into my mouth to hold it open, hold my lips back, hold my teeth apart. After they had everything jimmied open, wider than I thought my lips could even stretch, they took some more plastic, this attached to rubber bands, and used it like a sling to hold my tongue back. “Don’t worry,” said the technician as her sling crammed my tongue into the back of my throat, “Just breathe through your nose.”
I deserve this, I thought. I deserve this for being vain. The corners of many plastic apparatuses poked me in the gums, in the insides of my cheeks, in the end of my tongue. I certainly couldn’t talk, and I could barely breathe. It’s cottonwood season, and my allergies are under control only as long as I can supplement breathing through my mouth.
Then began the process. I looked out the window at the leaves of a birch tree and the light sky behind them. I tried to travel far away in my mind. But my lower face was assaulted by tubes, fans, solutions, things that gurgled and things that beeped. Something was sucking the saliva out of my mouth while something else was painted on my teeth. At one point, she rinsed each tooth individually with a blast of icy cold water. That about sent me to the moon when she came to the sensitive ones. When my body started arching out of the chair, she said, “Oh, did that hurt a little bit?” I closed my eyes and prayed, wondering if God would hear me if He was displeased because of what I was doing.
She put a pair of tinted glasses on me and one on herself and used some sort of laser light to do something. The heat of the laser light was wretched against the sensitive teeth, too. I wondered, What am I doing? How am I ever going to stand this for two years? How much is it going to hurt when they chisel these things off again? What if I die before I get them off? She handed me a piece of amber plastic on a stick, sort of like a mirror or a fan, and told me to hold it over my mouth. I had to hold it there for an eternity, and I have no idea why.
In the end I survived. Eating is no longer any fun At all. Milkshakes don’t even taste good after awhile. I eat breakfast and dinner and try to survive on liquids for lunch. Last night I found some forgotten avocados in the crisper drawer of my refrigerator and I made them into guacamole. I tried to eat some on a chip, but quickly decided that it was much better eaten off a fork.
My SWEET, LOVING, KIND, GENEROUS husband purchased me a Water-Pik for cleaning my teeth. This after I found that to brush and floss left me with a stiff neck, a flushed face, pulsing gums and throbbing teeth. Every time I brushed and flossed, I ended up needing to take some painkillers and lie down.
Now I have a tooth cleaning routine that takes forever but doesn’t hurt too much:
Little by little I am getting used to this. I still get palpitations when I have to see someone for the first time since it all started and explain why I have braces.
Make that, explain that I have braces.
Because why do I have braces? Why do I? I barely ever wear makeup and I do not color my hair. I hate shopping, and I rarely update my wardrobe. I rarely dress up. So why do I feel the need to fix my teeth?
Part of it is probably guilt because they are crooked and my parents had paid to fix them when I was a teenager (and they really, really needed it then). Nobody at that time told me I should wear my retainer forever, the way they tell kids now. But I did wear it fairly often until 1995 when we moved and I lost it.
In thirteen years, my teeth shifted drastically, and they were continuing to shift. I could feel them shifting, the itchy, achy feeling in my gums.
The worst thing was my upper-front-right tooth, which was shifting out. By itself. If both my front teeth had been shifting out together, that might have been one thing, but one front tooth shifting out in front of all my other front teeth, angling out to the right as it went (even if it had been angling in toward the middle I might have been able to stand it). When I noticed that it even left a bump on the right side of my mouth when my lips were pulled over it, I became ultra self-conscious. And as I lay in bed and felt the teeth moving around, I worried about where it would end… if it would end.
I was afraid to smile. This is why my husband was in favor of the procedure. He says he wants me to smile again.
I should have given up my vanity and pride and just smiled with the tooth sticking out, but it was so hard for me. I would smile carelessly, forgetting myself, and then a shock like pain would shoot through my chest as I realized what I had exposed and quickly pulled my lips back over the ugly tooth, wondering if I had frightened any small children.
God forgive me and help me, and please don’t let me die in braces and please don’t let all my teeth fall out.
For one thing, and I’m just going to put it out there: I got braces.
If that doesn’t feel like the most vain, self-centered, selfish use of family resources, I don’t know what is. And I do not say this to be disrespectful of other adults with braces. I know some absolutely lovely people who have braces. That’s why I had the courage to go through with it at all. I could think, “Well, she’s a really nice, loving, giving person, and she has braces, so maybe it wouldn’t be a mortal sin for me to get them, too.”
When the braces cause me pain, I can’t help feeling that it is penance that I am required to serve for my vanity.
I have bad gum recession and extremely sensitive teeth where some of their necks are completely exposed. This causes additional pain with the braces—especially when I am trying to dislodge food that has become stuck in the braces. More penance. And I have an additional fear that when all is said and done, my newly straightened teeth will all fall out and I will have to get dentures anyway.
So on top of the regular pain of braces, I have the “through the roof” pain of my sensitive exposed tooth roots, and loads of guilt and fear.
It was an experience having these braces put on.
I went in to the orthodontist’s office wondering if I really wanted to do this. The technician greeted me and said, “How are you today?” Suddenly, I felt tears welling up behind my eyes and a choking lump in my throat. “I’m kind of nervous,” I whispered, willing myself not to cry. Forty-two year olds don’t cry in orthodontist offices before anything has even happened. “You look kind of nervous,” the technician told me. I guess it’s hard not to look nervous when it’s taking all your powers of concentration to hold back a flood of humiliating tears. The orthodontist came over and the technician said to him, “This is Ruth. She’s a little nervous.”
“Well,” said Dr. Smith, “Ruth has had braces before, so maybe she knows what she’s in for.”
I’m thinking, Don’t remind me. Don’t make me think about this. Should I bolt? What would happen if I bolted? Could I get any of my money back?
Anyway, I laid down in the chair and they inserted numerous plastic frameworks into my mouth to hold it open, hold my lips back, hold my teeth apart. After they had everything jimmied open, wider than I thought my lips could even stretch, they took some more plastic, this attached to rubber bands, and used it like a sling to hold my tongue back. “Don’t worry,” said the technician as her sling crammed my tongue into the back of my throat, “Just breathe through your nose.”
I deserve this, I thought. I deserve this for being vain. The corners of many plastic apparatuses poked me in the gums, in the insides of my cheeks, in the end of my tongue. I certainly couldn’t talk, and I could barely breathe. It’s cottonwood season, and my allergies are under control only as long as I can supplement breathing through my mouth.
Then began the process. I looked out the window at the leaves of a birch tree and the light sky behind them. I tried to travel far away in my mind. But my lower face was assaulted by tubes, fans, solutions, things that gurgled and things that beeped. Something was sucking the saliva out of my mouth while something else was painted on my teeth. At one point, she rinsed each tooth individually with a blast of icy cold water. That about sent me to the moon when she came to the sensitive ones. When my body started arching out of the chair, she said, “Oh, did that hurt a little bit?” I closed my eyes and prayed, wondering if God would hear me if He was displeased because of what I was doing.
She put a pair of tinted glasses on me and one on herself and used some sort of laser light to do something. The heat of the laser light was wretched against the sensitive teeth, too. I wondered, What am I doing? How am I ever going to stand this for two years? How much is it going to hurt when they chisel these things off again? What if I die before I get them off? She handed me a piece of amber plastic on a stick, sort of like a mirror or a fan, and told me to hold it over my mouth. I had to hold it there for an eternity, and I have no idea why.
In the end I survived. Eating is no longer any fun At all. Milkshakes don’t even taste good after awhile. I eat breakfast and dinner and try to survive on liquids for lunch. Last night I found some forgotten avocados in the crisper drawer of my refrigerator and I made them into guacamole. I tried to eat some on a chip, but quickly decided that it was much better eaten off a fork.
My SWEET, LOVING, KIND, GENEROUS husband purchased me a Water-Pik for cleaning my teeth. This after I found that to brush and floss left me with a stiff neck, a flushed face, pulsing gums and throbbing teeth. Every time I brushed and flossed, I ended up needing to take some painkillers and lie down.
Now I have a tooth cleaning routine that takes forever but doesn’t hurt too much:
- Rinse with Listerine to dissolve as much stuff as possible (like plaque). Listerine really does make your teeth feel smooth.
- Brush the brackets and the tips of my teeth with a baking soda toothpaste.
- Clean my gumline and between my teeth with the Water Pik (and I put a solution of hydrogen peroxide in it).
- Rinse with Biotene, a mouthwash that is designed to restore an optimum balance to your saliva to help prevent plaque buildup and any other tooth or gum disease.
Little by little I am getting used to this. I still get palpitations when I have to see someone for the first time since it all started and explain why I have braces.
Make that, explain that I have braces.
Because why do I have braces? Why do I? I barely ever wear makeup and I do not color my hair. I hate shopping, and I rarely update my wardrobe. I rarely dress up. So why do I feel the need to fix my teeth?
Part of it is probably guilt because they are crooked and my parents had paid to fix them when I was a teenager (and they really, really needed it then). Nobody at that time told me I should wear my retainer forever, the way they tell kids now. But I did wear it fairly often until 1995 when we moved and I lost it.
In thirteen years, my teeth shifted drastically, and they were continuing to shift. I could feel them shifting, the itchy, achy feeling in my gums.
The worst thing was my upper-front-right tooth, which was shifting out. By itself. If both my front teeth had been shifting out together, that might have been one thing, but one front tooth shifting out in front of all my other front teeth, angling out to the right as it went (even if it had been angling in toward the middle I might have been able to stand it). When I noticed that it even left a bump on the right side of my mouth when my lips were pulled over it, I became ultra self-conscious. And as I lay in bed and felt the teeth moving around, I worried about where it would end… if it would end.
I was afraid to smile. This is why my husband was in favor of the procedure. He says he wants me to smile again.
I should have given up my vanity and pride and just smiled with the tooth sticking out, but it was so hard for me. I would smile carelessly, forgetting myself, and then a shock like pain would shoot through my chest as I realized what I had exposed and quickly pulled my lips back over the ugly tooth, wondering if I had frightened any small children.
God forgive me and help me, and please don’t let me die in braces and please don’t let all my teeth fall out.
Friday, May 30, 2008
DJ's party and Jon's parade
One week ago, we threw a surprise party for David on the occasion of his seventeenth birthday. This is a picture of the surprise. You cannot see DJ, and neither could I (well, that might be the corner of his right ear...).
Because I had reoriented the kitchen table to facilitate a buffet snack set-up, we knew the gig would be up if he came in from the garage door and saw the table. So he never had time to get into the house. His friends packed into the corridor leading to the mudroom and bombasted him as soon as he opened the door. They were all in front of me, hence this lovely blurred photo of the backs of their heads and arms. It was loud. DJ was surprised.
Here is DJ leaning against the wall, catching his breath after the vigorous surprise. His friends, at this moment in time, were all comparing the funny pictures of DJ that they got on their cameras. I'm not bitter or jealous or anything. Here is my dear boy, catching his breath (by the way, his actual birthday was the previous day, so he really was not expecting anything).
Here you see DJ and his friends in the family room. I tried to give them lots of space, so they wouldn't feel like I was hovering, or spying, or lurking... but I did get this picture. DJ is rather secretive when it comes to his friends. I think he's just a little self-conscious. We had one friend (that we knew about) hand out the invitations, otherwise we would not have known whom to invite. I was happy to have this opportunity to meet DJ's friends. They were all absolutely wonderful kids--neat, clean, polite and kind. Of course, they were a little shy around me, but I guess that makes us even, because I was a little shy around them, too.
DJ was able to blow out all his seventeen candles with one breath. He does play the saxophone, after all. And he always says he doesn't have a girlfriend! I had to get a bakery cake, because it wouldn't have done for him to see me baking a cake on the day after his birthday. I had made him a birthday apple pie, by request, on the day before.
Here is Jonno on the following Monday, playing his trumpet in the Memorial Day Parade. He is the tall boy in the middle of the picture, wearing black shoes. I love the way he plays his trumpet, loud and clear, right from the heart. We had a crazy, unorganized morning that day, and he ended up marching on an empty stomach--you can see that he looks a little peaked. But he hung in there like a champ. My solace was that I had sent him with a bottle of water. Unfortunately the girl next to him (you can't see her) lifted it out of his pocket and drank it herself. He didn't even know her. Can you imagine? Is that how girls flirt these days?
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
lazy me
I haven't been on the computer so much lately, which is probably good.
I rarely answer my phone, but lately I haven't even been listening to messages on the answering machine or answering email.
We did install new laminate floors in two bedrooms recently. And the pool is almost open. Anyway, it looks open, which is good enough for now. It's too cold to swim, anyway. This morning the temperature in the house had fallen to 64, so I turned the heat on again.
I have been so tired. I hardly have the energy to do any gardening. I used to love gardening. Last weekend I planted three pots of flowers, and then I went inside to sew a curtain for the boys' newly remodeled bedroom.
I dropped out of Book Review Friday, basically because I don't have time to do it along with my Tuesday morning Bible study. We do about three chapters per week and are nearly finished with 2 Kings. I do not understand why this takes so much out of me. I used to teach Sunday school to third and fourth graders and also lead the Tuesday Bible study, AND send out nearly daily emails with comments on the daily scripture readings for the Bible study. Now I prepare one lesson for Tuesday mornings and I'm bushed. What gives?
Am I outside the Will of God?
Am I still in a weakened state from the flu I had last winter?
Am I going through menopause?
Is it a sin to take a nap? How about multiple naps? I am haunted by Proverbs 6:10-11, "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest-- and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man."
But there is also Psalm 127:2, "In vain you rise early and stay up late toiling for food to eat--for He grants sleep to those He loves."
We may have an opportunity to buy some land and move out to the country, but I look around at all that needs to be done in order to accomplish that, and I feel nausea in my stomach, tears welling up around my eyes.
I think I'm pathologically lazy. Proverbs 26:15 says, "The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth." I have an opportunity right in front of me, but I feel too
overwhelmed to take action on it.
By the way, I hate Opera. I am trying to write in Opera right now, and the html is all messed up and I have no idea how to fix it. When the formatting of one of my posts is particularly awkward, it is because I was in Opera. My bookmarks are all in Opera, and I am too lazy to figure out how to change them.
Well, I need to go change beds and do laundry and clean toilets and make granola bars. That sort of stuff. And shower.
DJ is going to New Orleans with the jazz band today. He took his suitcase to school and they will leave for the airport shortly after lunch. I am stressed silly about this, to the point where I am in total avoidance and trying not to even think about it.
If I get some work done, I will reward myself by listening to Colin Smith and then perhaps I will feel better.
This is a super dumb post. I should have written about how Jonathan played his trumpet in the Memorial Day Parade last Monday.
I rarely answer my phone, but lately I haven't even been listening to messages on the answering machine or answering email.
We did install new laminate floors in two bedrooms recently. And the pool is almost open. Anyway, it looks open, which is good enough for now. It's too cold to swim, anyway. This morning the temperature in the house had fallen to 64, so I turned the heat on again.
I have been so tired. I hardly have the energy to do any gardening. I used to love gardening. Last weekend I planted three pots of flowers, and then I went inside to sew a curtain for the boys' newly remodeled bedroom.
I dropped out of Book Review Friday, basically because I don't have time to do it along with my Tuesday morning Bible study. We do about three chapters per week and are nearly finished with 2 Kings. I do not understand why this takes so much out of me. I used to teach Sunday school to third and fourth graders and also lead the Tuesday Bible study, AND send out nearly daily emails with comments on the daily scripture readings for the Bible study. Now I prepare one lesson for Tuesday mornings and I'm bushed. What gives?
Am I outside the Will of God?
Am I still in a weakened state from the flu I had last winter?
Am I going through menopause?
Is it a sin to take a nap? How about multiple naps? I am haunted by Proverbs 6:10-11, "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest-- and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man."
But there is also Psalm 127:2, "In vain you rise early and stay up late toiling for food to eat--for He grants sleep to those He loves."
We may have an opportunity to buy some land and move out to the country, but I look around at all that needs to be done in order to accomplish that, and I feel nausea in my stomach, tears welling up around my eyes.
I think I'm pathologically lazy. Proverbs 26:15 says, "The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth." I have an opportunity right in front of me, but I feel too
overwhelmed to take action on it.
By the way, I hate Opera. I am trying to write in Opera right now, and the html is all messed up and I have no idea how to fix it. When the formatting of one of my posts is particularly awkward, it is because I was in Opera. My bookmarks are all in Opera, and I am too lazy to figure out how to change them.
Well, I need to go change beds and do laundry and clean toilets and make granola bars. That sort of stuff. And shower.
DJ is going to New Orleans with the jazz band today. He took his suitcase to school and they will leave for the airport shortly after lunch. I am stressed silly about this, to the point where I am in total avoidance and trying not to even think about it.
If I get some work done, I will reward myself by listening to Colin Smith and then perhaps I will feel better.
This is a super dumb post. I should have written about how Jonathan played his trumpet in the Memorial Day Parade last Monday.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Ten blissful things
- Waking up with toasty warm toes, and being able to stay in bed for awhile and enjoy them.
- A newly opening rose in my very own garden.
- Hearing my children belly laugh together over something at the kitchen table--all four of them together.
- Leaves. I love leaves. I especially love them in May, when they are new but not tiny.
- Hiking near a waterfall.
- When each one of the socks in the laundry load has a mate at the end of folding.
- 80 degrees F.
- Shade on a sunny day.
- Fresh strawberries, ripe and warm from the patch.
- Going to bed at the end of a productive day.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Works for Me Wednesday
I have teenagers and "teenagers" means acne, at least some of the time.
Over the counter medications are pretty good--you can't find much from a prescription that beats this:
1. Cleanse with Neutrogena Oil Free Acne Wash in the orange tube (2% salicylic acid)
2. Moisturize with Clean and Clear Dual Action Moisturizer (oil free, also contains salicylic acid)
3. Treat spots individually with Clearasil (10% benzoil peroxide)
The problem is acne on the chest, back and shoulders, because both salicylic acid and benzoil peroxide bleach out fabrics and ruin them, and you may notice that they are the active ingredients in the entire regimen listed above. We can live with ruining our washcloths, towels, pillowcases and sheets. But it is a sad thing to ruin all your clothes.
I have come up with a solution that I believe is actually worthy of a Works for Me Wednesday post: Homemade Acne Wipes.
To make these, you need:
Put the folded paper towel things into the container one at a time. To each one, add:
To use, cleanse the area affected with acne with a wipe two times per day. Do not rinse off. This solution is perfectly safe for your clothing.
In addition, once per day, apply a mask of Neutrogena Clear Pore Mask/Cleanser (3.5 % benzoil peroxide) for 10-20 minutes. Wash off in the shower, using the Neutrogena Oil Free Acne Wash as a body wash over the affected area.
Before bed, after cleansing, apply a layer of pure tea tree oil to entire affected area.
Also, take a good multi vitamin and be sure to drink 64 ounces of good, pure water every day.
This system will take 2 or 3 weeks to show thorough results, but I have been amazed at what I have invented here. My kids say I should market it and make a lot of money. If only I had some entrepreneurial spirit. I'm too sharing and giving.
I have to say, we had gotten to the point where we spent over $125 on a prescription ointment, but it didn't work at all, and these wipes have been wonderful.
Check out more WFMW posts at Rocks in My Dryer.
10/19/2016 -- Update
I've since found that nurturing your skin and caring for it very gently is even more effective. One of the worst things for skin, in my experience, is SLS (Sodium laurel sulfate or sodium laureth sulfate--this is in virtually all facewashes and most bar soaps). My current recommended skin care routine is this:
Morning: (1) Wash with Yardley Oatmeal and Almond bar soap. (2) Apply lavender EE, arnica gel and calendula gel to any blemishes. (3) Moisturize with St. Ives Timeless Skin Collagen Elastin Facial Moisturizer.
Evening: (1) Use raw honey as a mask on your face: apply and let sit for 3-20 minutes depending on how long you have, then rinse off with warm water. (2) Apply lavender EE, arnica gel and calendula gel to any blemishes. (3) Moisturize by pouring about 1/4 tsp. castor oil (yes the laxative) into your palm and adding a couple of drops of lavender EE. Massage this into your face and neck. If you are having blemishes, you can add a drop of tea tree oil to this mixture.
The wipes above are still good for body acne, but if you use Yardley Oatmeal and Almond bar soap in the shower, you may not need them.
Over the counter medications are pretty good--you can't find much from a prescription that beats this:
1. Cleanse with Neutrogena Oil Free Acne Wash in the orange tube (2% salicylic acid)
2. Moisturize with Clean and Clear Dual Action Moisturizer (oil free, also contains salicylic acid)
3. Treat spots individually with Clearasil (10% benzoil peroxide)
The problem is acne on the chest, back and shoulders, because both salicylic acid and benzoil peroxide bleach out fabrics and ruin them, and you may notice that they are the active ingredients in the entire regimen listed above. We can live with ruining our washcloths, towels, pillowcases and sheets. But it is a sad thing to ruin all your clothes.
I have come up with a solution that I believe is actually worthy of a Works for Me Wednesday post: Homemade Acne Wipes.
To make these, you need:
- a small rectangular plastic storage container
- plain white paper towels
- isopropyl alcohol (rubbing alcohol)
- pure water (if your water is iffy, use distilled)
- tea tree oil
- vitamin E capsules (200 IU USP)
Put the folded paper towel things into the container one at a time. To each one, add:
- 1 tsp water
- 1 tsp rubbing alcohol
- approximately four drops of tea tree oil
- the contents of one vitamin E capsule, snipped and squeezed out
To use, cleanse the area affected with acne with a wipe two times per day. Do not rinse off. This solution is perfectly safe for your clothing.
In addition, once per day, apply a mask of Neutrogena Clear Pore Mask/Cleanser (3.5 % benzoil peroxide) for 10-20 minutes. Wash off in the shower, using the Neutrogena Oil Free Acne Wash as a body wash over the affected area.
Before bed, after cleansing, apply a layer of pure tea tree oil to entire affected area.
Also, take a good multi vitamin and be sure to drink 64 ounces of good, pure water every day.
This system will take 2 or 3 weeks to show thorough results, but I have been amazed at what I have invented here. My kids say I should market it and make a lot of money. If only I had some entrepreneurial spirit. I'm too sharing and giving.
I have to say, we had gotten to the point where we spent over $125 on a prescription ointment, but it didn't work at all, and these wipes have been wonderful.
Check out more WFMW posts at Rocks in My Dryer.
10/19/2016 -- Update
I've since found that nurturing your skin and caring for it very gently is even more effective. One of the worst things for skin, in my experience, is SLS (Sodium laurel sulfate or sodium laureth sulfate--this is in virtually all facewashes and most bar soaps). My current recommended skin care routine is this:
Morning: (1) Wash with Yardley Oatmeal and Almond bar soap. (2) Apply lavender EE, arnica gel and calendula gel to any blemishes. (3) Moisturize with St. Ives Timeless Skin Collagen Elastin Facial Moisturizer.
Evening: (1) Use raw honey as a mask on your face: apply and let sit for 3-20 minutes depending on how long you have, then rinse off with warm water. (2) Apply lavender EE, arnica gel and calendula gel to any blemishes. (3) Moisturize by pouring about 1/4 tsp. castor oil (yes the laxative) into your palm and adding a couple of drops of lavender EE. Massage this into your face and neck. If you are having blemishes, you can add a drop of tea tree oil to this mixture.
The wipes above are still good for body acne, but if you use Yardley Oatmeal and Almond bar soap in the shower, you may not need them.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Tagged?
Ruth from MacCarthaigh Family tagged me today. I have never been tagged before. Wow. Does this mean I’m a real blogger?
Favourite person (outside family)....ummm. That’s very tricky. If I say one person, then another gets hurt. How about this…my favorite Bible teacher is Colin S. Smith. You can listen to him here. I have drawn great strength from his teaching.
Favourite food... fruit. I love watermelon, but it isn’t quite in season yet. The grapefruit was amazing this year. I also really like chocolate milk. I know it is a beverage, not a food, but when I’m busy I have it for lunch rather often.
Quirks about me... I like to be alone, but I hate being lonely. I like to study up on homeopathic and naturopathic remedies—I’m particularly big on arnica, tea tree oil and gentian violet. I have extreme anxiety when I am getting ready to go on vacation.
How would the person who loves you most describes you in ten words or less... (Shawn says) intelligent, questioning, wise, beautiful, temperamental, occasionally volatile, studious, loving, critical. (I hope he means critical as in a critical thinker and not as in a nasty nit-picker…)
Any regrets in life... yes.
Favourite cause/charity... Wycliffe and other organizations that translate the Bible into languages that don’t have it, and into unwritten languages.
Favourite blog recently... I get a lot of good, helpful homemaking hints off Tammy’s Recipes. Even though she’s younger than I am.
Something you can't get enough of... back rubs. Back rubs are irresistible. I love a really deep, therapeutic massage.
Worst job you ever had... I have worked so little—every now and again the government sends me a statement of my life earnings, and I think I’ve made less than $10,000 in my entire life. Such is the fate of a stay-at-home mom who started having babies at age 23. Probably my worst job was waitressing at a small diner in the town where I grew up. I also waitressed at a Chinese restaurant, but that was not as bad. The diner was really creepy, and the boss was disturbing.
What job would you pay not to have... cat vet. I have a severe phobia of cats. Oh. I should have listed that under “quirks.”
If you could be a fly on the wall, where?... I would never want to be a fly. Period.
Favourite Bible verse right now... Psalm 86:4—“Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.”
Guilty pleasures... You ask me this right after you ask about my favorite Bible verse? OK. Here goes: Taking a really long, really hot shower. Also eating a Hershey’s Symphony bar with toffee and almonds.
Got any confessions... I have been really crabby lately.
If you HAD to spend €1,000.00 on yourself, how would you spend it?...I’m not sure what that translates to in dollars. I would probably take one of my daughters (or both, if that’s enough money) and go visit my parents. On a plane. So we wouldn’t have to drive 1200 miles. Yes! Or I might try to buy some nice clothes, or hire a shopper to buy them for me, because I hate shopping, which shows in my wardrobe which has not been updated for years.
Favourite thing about your house... I really like my kitchen. I also like the brick path that Shawn built me from the driveway to the front door.
One thing you are bad at... Calling people, anything associated with the telephone. Also keeping track of appointments. And handling stress . I am awful at handling stress. Oh. I was supposed to give ONE thing. Ooops. I guess I’m bad at following directions, too.
One thing you are good at... reading aloud.
If you could change things about your circumstances, what... well, if it isn’t a sin to say so, I would like to live closer to my parents so my kids could have a close relationship with their grandparents, and so I could see them often and care for them in their old age and send over my strapping boys to help my dad plow up and plant his garden.
Who would you like to meet some day... C.S. Lewis. I always wanted so badly to meet him when I was a child reading the Chronicles of Narnia. I love his “voice.” I was devastated when I learned that he was dead. Oh well, there’s always heaven.
What makes you feel sexy... Candlelight; soft, impressionistic piano music; a full moon; a flattering, fluttery dress; my hair coming out nicely, which doesn’t happen often—I’m not sexy. Really.
Who is your real life hero... Jim Eliot. He was Elisabeth Eliot’s first husband who was killed by the Auca Indians. He said, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what He cannot lose.”
What is the hardest part of your job... as a mother, finding the balance between being a servant-leader to my children and teaching them to be responsible for their own stuff... I mess up every time, usually by doing things for them that I shouldn’t and then yelling at them. Also, it used to be very hard that I got no sick days. No.such.thing. But now my awesome kids can actually take care of ME when I am sick.
When are you most relaxed... In front of the fire, wrapped in a quilt, sipping a hot mug of tea and not needing to be anywhere other than at home. Also when the house is clean, as long as it’s not being messed up again.
What stresses you out... packing for vacations, stress in my kids’ lives (music auditions, big tests), cooking for company, big messes (especially those that involve toxic substances, like oil based paint). Also heavy traffic.
What can you not live without... Well, Jesus, of course. And my cranberry tablets that keep my bladder in order. Also dentil floss. I love freshly flossed teeth.
Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists... Well, I didn’t read the article. I think a lot of bloggers are like me—people who are shy and introverted, and would rather communicate with the safety of the computer between them and the world than face-to-face. Is that narcissistic? I think it is more in the category of a crutch to enable avoidance.
Why do you blog... I do it because I like to write. Before I started blogging, I would just compose all these random essay-type things in my head in the shower. Now when I have a thought, I have a place to write it down. I have tried journaling, but I prefer blogging because having the threat of possible readers sometimes helps me self-edit a little better. In a private journal, I am too undisciplined in the crummy, self-centered thoughts I will allow myself to write out. I also blog as a discipline to have something to hand down to my kids someday—a memory of who their mom/grandma/great-grandma was. I would love it if I had a “blog” left from my own grandma!
Another confession in addendum: I don’t know how to tag. I am sorry if this is breaking the rules. Here is a list of some blogs I check on, instead (since I don’t know how to put them on my sidebar). Feel free to visit them. I hope. Actually, I am kind of a lurker and most of them would not know who I was if you said I’d sent you there. Amy of Amy’s Humble Musings is a very gracious person who actually sometimes emails her commenters, even though she is a total blog celebrity.
A Patchwork of Blessed Moments Makes a Quilt of Grace
Amy’s Humble Musings
MacCarthaigh Family
Laundry and Lullabies
Rocks in My Dryer
Scott and Lori
http://thepioneerwoman.com/(this is not what I would call a Christian blog, but she is funny and she has some good recipes—she also has like 100,000,000 readers)
Watch the Sky
Favourite person (outside family)....ummm. That’s very tricky. If I say one person, then another gets hurt. How about this…my favorite Bible teacher is Colin S. Smith. You can listen to him here. I have drawn great strength from his teaching.
Favourite food... fruit. I love watermelon, but it isn’t quite in season yet. The grapefruit was amazing this year. I also really like chocolate milk. I know it is a beverage, not a food, but when I’m busy I have it for lunch rather often.
Quirks about me... I like to be alone, but I hate being lonely. I like to study up on homeopathic and naturopathic remedies—I’m particularly big on arnica, tea tree oil and gentian violet. I have extreme anxiety when I am getting ready to go on vacation.
How would the person who loves you most describes you in ten words or less... (Shawn says) intelligent, questioning, wise, beautiful, temperamental, occasionally volatile, studious, loving, critical. (I hope he means critical as in a critical thinker and not as in a nasty nit-picker…)
Any regrets in life... yes.
Favourite cause/charity... Wycliffe and other organizations that translate the Bible into languages that don’t have it, and into unwritten languages.
Favourite blog recently... I get a lot of good, helpful homemaking hints off Tammy’s Recipes. Even though she’s younger than I am.
Something you can't get enough of... back rubs. Back rubs are irresistible. I love a really deep, therapeutic massage.
Worst job you ever had... I have worked so little—every now and again the government sends me a statement of my life earnings, and I think I’ve made less than $10,000 in my entire life. Such is the fate of a stay-at-home mom who started having babies at age 23. Probably my worst job was waitressing at a small diner in the town where I grew up. I also waitressed at a Chinese restaurant, but that was not as bad. The diner was really creepy, and the boss was disturbing.
What job would you pay not to have... cat vet. I have a severe phobia of cats. Oh. I should have listed that under “quirks.”
If you could be a fly on the wall, where?... I would never want to be a fly. Period.
Favourite Bible verse right now... Psalm 86:4—“Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.”
Guilty pleasures... You ask me this right after you ask about my favorite Bible verse? OK. Here goes: Taking a really long, really hot shower. Also eating a Hershey’s Symphony bar with toffee and almonds.
Got any confessions... I have been really crabby lately.
If you HAD to spend €1,000.00 on yourself, how would you spend it?...I’m not sure what that translates to in dollars. I would probably take one of my daughters (or both, if that’s enough money) and go visit my parents. On a plane. So we wouldn’t have to drive 1200 miles. Yes! Or I might try to buy some nice clothes, or hire a shopper to buy them for me, because I hate shopping, which shows in my wardrobe which has not been updated for years.
Favourite thing about your house... I really like my kitchen. I also like the brick path that Shawn built me from the driveway to the front door.
One thing you are bad at... Calling people, anything associated with the telephone. Also keeping track of appointments. And handling stress . I am awful at handling stress. Oh. I was supposed to give ONE thing. Ooops. I guess I’m bad at following directions, too.
One thing you are good at... reading aloud.
If you could change things about your circumstances, what... well, if it isn’t a sin to say so, I would like to live closer to my parents so my kids could have a close relationship with their grandparents, and so I could see them often and care for them in their old age and send over my strapping boys to help my dad plow up and plant his garden.
Who would you like to meet some day... C.S. Lewis. I always wanted so badly to meet him when I was a child reading the Chronicles of Narnia. I love his “voice.” I was devastated when I learned that he was dead. Oh well, there’s always heaven.
What makes you feel sexy... Candlelight; soft, impressionistic piano music; a full moon; a flattering, fluttery dress; my hair coming out nicely, which doesn’t happen often—I’m not sexy. Really.
Who is your real life hero... Jim Eliot. He was Elisabeth Eliot’s first husband who was killed by the Auca Indians. He said, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what He cannot lose.”
What is the hardest part of your job... as a mother, finding the balance between being a servant-leader to my children and teaching them to be responsible for their own stuff... I mess up every time, usually by doing things for them that I shouldn’t and then yelling at them. Also, it used to be very hard that I got no sick days. No.such.thing. But now my awesome kids can actually take care of ME when I am sick.
When are you most relaxed... In front of the fire, wrapped in a quilt, sipping a hot mug of tea and not needing to be anywhere other than at home. Also when the house is clean, as long as it’s not being messed up again.
What stresses you out... packing for vacations, stress in my kids’ lives (music auditions, big tests), cooking for company, big messes (especially those that involve toxic substances, like oil based paint). Also heavy traffic.
What can you not live without... Well, Jesus, of course. And my cranberry tablets that keep my bladder in order. Also dentil floss. I love freshly flossed teeth.
Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists... Well, I didn’t read the article. I think a lot of bloggers are like me—people who are shy and introverted, and would rather communicate with the safety of the computer between them and the world than face-to-face. Is that narcissistic? I think it is more in the category of a crutch to enable avoidance.
Why do you blog... I do it because I like to write. Before I started blogging, I would just compose all these random essay-type things in my head in the shower. Now when I have a thought, I have a place to write it down. I have tried journaling, but I prefer blogging because having the threat of possible readers sometimes helps me self-edit a little better. In a private journal, I am too undisciplined in the crummy, self-centered thoughts I will allow myself to write out. I also blog as a discipline to have something to hand down to my kids someday—a memory of who their mom/grandma/great-grandma was. I would love it if I had a “blog” left from my own grandma!
Another confession in addendum: I don’t know how to tag. I am sorry if this is breaking the rules. Here is a list of some blogs I check on, instead (since I don’t know how to put them on my sidebar). Feel free to visit them. I hope. Actually, I am kind of a lurker and most of them would not know who I was if you said I’d sent you there. Amy of Amy’s Humble Musings is a very gracious person who actually sometimes emails her commenters, even though she is a total blog celebrity.
A Patchwork of Blessed Moments Makes a Quilt of Grace
Amy’s Humble Musings
MacCarthaigh Family
Laundry and Lullabies
Rocks in My Dryer
Scott and Lori
http://thepioneerwoman.com/(this is not what I would call a Christian blog, but she is funny and she has some good recipes—she also has like 100,000,000 readers)
Watch the Sky
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