our defense

 

Indeed, when the Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature the things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.  ~Romans 2:14, NIV84 [emphasis mine]

Perhaps when God judges us, 

He will hold us accountable for how we handled whatever knowledge we had of Him.

Perhaps it is actually not so much about what we know, 

as about how we respond to what we know, 

or maybe even how

--or if--

we search when we do not know.

Suppose it is a more delicate thing when God judges, than simply, "Did you declare Jesus to be your Lord and Savior?"  Just suppose.  God is not constrained to something that neatly fits within our ability to imagine.  God is far more complex than we can imagine.  Also, he clearly tells us that he looks at the heart, the inner person, not the outer persona.  Confessing Jesus as Lord and Savior is very important, but the Bible also tells us in both Isaiah 45 and Philippians 2 that one day every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.   The question is not whether you verbally acknowledge his Lordship.  The question is: What was going on in your heart?  Only God himself can answer that question.     

A person in search of God, righteousness, truth and justice will find what he is looking for.  God is not far from any of us, and if we reach out for him, we will find him.  He himself will be the master of our journeys.  Some people find him quickly, while others travel many long, steep and twisted roads on a difficult journey to discover truth.  But those who seek him will find him, even (and this flies in the face of much that has been taught throughout Christendom) if they search until they die and meet him on the threshold of the next life.  Only those who stubbornly refuse to seek, who consistently refuse to see or hear, who perpetually insist on following their own way, will be condemned. 

Understanding this requires some finesse.  We are easily deceived concerning our own actions and motivations.  We often embark upon testing a hypothesis after we have already made up our minds what the result should be.  As this "discovery process" unfolds, we skew our interpretation of the facts we uncover, twisting them to match our preconceived belief about what the result should be.  Those who are inclined to believe that there is a God will, admittedly, be biased towards seeing God's presence in their lives.  Many secularly minded souls are quick to point this out and belittle people of faith.  But the opposite is also true: those who are inclined to scoff at the idea that there is a God will be biased towards explaining him away, despite any evidence they encounter.   Very intelligent people go to extreme lengths to construct labyrinthian philosophies of life that allow for the existence of a Universe that originated from no source, no creator, no god.

Thus, I fear there will always be people who claim to have sought for God, but in the deep recesses of their hearts did not want to find him.  They may not even know that they did not want to find him; they might claim that they absolutely wanted to find him.  The problem, it seems, is in our difficulty letting go of what we want God to be, when we go searching for him.  We want to be able to craft him in our imaginations, to make him a god who loves us in a tolerant and indulgent way, who agrees with our assessment of what is good or bad, who allows us to live in any way we wish, who would never ask us to do anything hard, or to give anything up.   You will not find him if that is what you are searching for, because that is not what he is like.  He has better things for us than the earthy pleasures we crave.  If we demand that he be a vehicle to provide us with ease in the material world, rather than an unimaginable grace who lifts us above this world altogether, we will not find him.

And yet, for those who long to know God, who know that there is a justice and a righteousness that exists outside of themselves and far exceeds any justice or righteousness they could ever attain in their own strength, who weep over the wrongs of this poor, broken world and find themselves hoping--despite the apparent futility of hope--that all will someday be made right . . .

for those who recognizing that a significant part of what needs righting 

is our own defective hearts . . . 

to these, God will reveal himself with infinite grace.

God will reveal himself to those who seek him, if we seek him in truth and humility, willing to surrender in worship to the only one who is all wise, all powerful and all good.