listening well

With the new year coming tomorrow, I found myself perusing my blog a bit in contemplation, looking back over the path I've trodden.

My word for the year has been Abide.  It was the perfect word for this year.  With Covid quarantining and sheltering at home, a focus on abiding brought peace and comfort.  Even the concept of sheltering at home becomes different and beautiful when I realize that Christ is my home, and I take shelter in Him (Psalm 57:1).

Today, meandering through past posts, I came across this one, which is about abiding, but I never would have remembered by the title.  It is astonishing to me that way back in 2015, God was already teaching me about sanctification through His indwelling Holy Spirit, being transformed into His likeness from one degree of glory to another by Him, His power, His presence.  It is always astonishing to me when I see a record of what I was learning years before I learned it again on a deeper level.  His grace is astounding.  He truly has been my dwelling place throughout all the decades of my life, when I have been aware of Him and, even more unfathomably, when I have not.

I do not think I can give up the word Abide in 2021.  I still need it desperately.  Yet, I feel led to connect my abiding with listening.  

Listen.  It seems a good word, important, and with potential to instigate growth in humility.  The past couple of days, I've been looking for my new verse-of-the-year to go with Listen.  Presently, I'm considering Mark 9:7, or a repeat of James 1:19.

I've been thinking about listening, what it is and what it does:

Listening is being still, and opening yourself to someone else.

When you truly listen, you stop thinking your own thoughts, and absorb the thoughts of others.

You allow yourself to consider their perspective, 

or perhaps you push yourself to do this, force yourself.

Good listening is hard work, until someone has practiced for a long time.

You do not have to agree with the people you listen to, 

condone their opinions, or celebrate their choices,

but you do have to hear, consider, imagine what it is like to be them.

If you think you are listening, but you are not trying to understand,

then you are only hearing sounds.

Listening well is listening for the heart, 

being eager to discover what the other person wants me to understand.

A good listener uses both ears 

and both eyes, 

as well as heart and gut.

It is scary for me to look deep into people's eyes, but I will need to 

as I strive to listen better.

I can also watch people's bodies, 

the tilt of a shoulder towards or away, the angle of a head up or down, a jawline loose or clamped.

Are hands open, active, reaching out?  Tightly clasped or wringing?  

Arms circled protectively around a threatened body?

What is behind the loudness or softness of a voice?

A good listener looks behind everything, gently, kindly probing to bring out the truth.

A good listener asks questions to clarify what she thinks she understands, 

and she is willing to change her understanding as information unfolds.

A good listener never reverts to pinning a speaker to the wall because of specific words he spoke,

placing the importance of a moment's phrase above the intent of the heart.  Never.

A good listener believes that winning is understanding and mutual benefit;

the other kind of "winning", where someone beats someone else, where there is a loser...

in relationships, that is not winning at all.

A good listener works hard to draw out;

when a speaker is reticent, frightened, overwhelmed,

a good listener asks pump-priming questions,

and keeps going.  A good listener does not quickly give up on a conversation

or pridefully assume that she tried and gave her all, but the other person was not cooperative,

especially if the other person is simply quiet and slow to speak.

A good listener prays for the Spirit of God to help her as she listens, 

to help her not be afraid to let go of forming a rebuttal,

to help her hear, empathize, enter in to the other's experience,

consider the validity of the other point of view.

A good listener knows that she is as fallen and fallible as anyone,

so when she sometimes hears things that she knows are a result

of someone being deceived by the spiritual forces of evil,

she responds by remembering her own failings,

and how utterly hopeless and lost she would be without the grace of God.

When one becomes a truly great listener,

compassion will always trump anger, 

and each exchange will communicate hope.

Relationships will heal over time, with good listening.

Listening to God is the best listening of all,

and a healthy relationship with Him

will breathe grace into all other relationships.

Are you as astonished as I, to think about how 

God listens attentively to our prayers?

no fear in love

 The other day I was walking with my husband, in our neighborhood.

It's one mile if you walk up and down all three streets in this neighborhood and loop their cu-de-sacs at each end.  One mile.  The Pandemic Promenade.  We meet up with various neighbors who also do this circuit, and pass others who hang out in their yards.  Everyone stands at a respectful distance and asks, "How are you doing?"  We look after one another's mental health a little bit, if we happen to see each other outside.  Everyone seems to know our little dog.  It's a bubble of life where most people work at home, nobody has lost a job, and nearly all of us are doing fine, so far.  We keep six or more feet apart when we chat in the street, but we don't wear masks.  The children play together as if everything were normal, filling the woods with nerf ammunition, splashing in pools and (more recently) jumping on trampolines.

Some kids miss school, while others are happy to be home.

Some of the adults are more affected than others by current events.  A few live in abject fear.

The other day as I was walking, I thought how bleak it must be not to believe in God.  I imagined how I might feel, if I thought we were here by random chance, eons of evolutionary sifting that finally, after a near infinity of time, resulted in a world full of oceans, sea creatures, plains, prairies, mountains, trees, rivers, birds, deer, squirrels, mice, mosquitoes, cats, dogs, alligators, hippopotami and humans.

The Universe is so huge, so unfathomably huge.  I do not think we can really grasp the size of it, even when the math is laid out before us.  The math we have is only approximate anyway, because nobody really knows where it all begins and ends, what its limits are.

In all the immeasurable Universe, nobody has come close to toting up how many galaxies there are, and then multiplying by some average number of solar systems per galaxy to calculate the number of solar systems.  We have figured out that our own galaxy is not one of the biggest ones, and within our galaxy, that our solar system is not one of the biggest, either.  We are average-to-small among galaxies and solar systems.  As far as planets go, Earth is also average-to-small.

Yet, as far as anyone has been able to determine, there is no other planet that is covered with water and life the way Earth is.  Of course, I eagerly admit that the Universe stretches to relatively infinite expanses beyond what we can know or see.  Still, with all the scientific progress we have been able to make (and I think it is commendable, what we have attained), we have not found any other planet out there that is anything at all like our home.  Now and then we hear a vague report about a few cells somewhere that might loosely resemble something that could take the form of water, or a very simple life form.  But it's nothing like our dear Earth.  Nothing at all.

Besides which, you have to consider the timing.  Time is such a curious thing, isn't it?  Time tells us that there are beginnings and ends, life cycles that start and finish.  We watch the night sky at the beach, tracking meteor showers and falling stars.  Falling stars are meteors that burn up as they cascade through space, but supernovas are actual stars that come to the end of their lives and explode.  Stars have a lifecycle; even stars are subject to time and do not last forever.  Our sun is not going to last forever.  I think it is probable that even if there were some particles of pre-life on one of the other planets in our solar system, our sun will not last long enough for them to develop into anything.  The timing of earth's ecosystems is perfectly coordinated with our sun.  You could have a long argument about how and why this is, whether the proverbial chicken or egg came first, but I think you would never arrive at a confirmable solution.

If I thought all this huge expanse around us was merely a random result of randomly existing substances that randomly interacted over trillions and trillions of centuries, I would live in constant, overwhelming fear.  What an overwhelmingly cold, heartless, impersonal existence, and the vast bulk of it totally outside our control or understanding: Our sun is going to change over its lifecycle, and this will certainly change our climate, and ultimately everything will go up in spectacular flames.  Meanwhile there is nothing we can do about it, nowhere to go.  Indeed, I think the only possible rational response to such beliefs must be deep depression.  Alternatively, one can take the ostrich approach and refuse to consider the implications, pursuing hedonism, I suppose, because on the edge of such nameless, faceless darkness, why should silly things like honesty or unselfishness or sacrifice matter or make any difference whatsoever?  And even if they do matter to you, how--on what basis--could you ever convince others to agree?

The other day as I walked with my husband, I looked at the trees lining our road, tall, majestic pines stretching into the blue sky, hardwoods now bare, but glorious in their foliage spring through fall.  I saw small white clouds floating softly overhead in the blue expanse.  Holly bushes lined the edge of the street, covered with copious clusters of brilliant red berries, so many berries.

God doesn't always make sense to me.  I fully admit that I do not always enjoy the way He carries out His plans.  But as I breathe in the air He created specifically for me and my species to breathe, when I drink a glass of the water He poured onto this world to bring forth life (Job 36:26-31), I am so thankful that He is God.  He has a plan.  He is in control.  I don't have to try to figure out and harness the powers of the Universe, or be overwhelmed by the impossibility of doing so.  It is good to learn, to discover, to explore.  But at the end of each day, I can lie back and rest in the knowledge that there exists a good God who loves us, who created us, and who has plans to deliver us into a new, improved, unblemished Universe some day, in His perfect time.  And that Universe will, I think, be somehow unchained from time.   I do not understand how this will work, but I believe with all my heart that there will be no more endings, no more loss or separation, no more death.  It will be okay.

I am thankful that God tells us to look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient (even the stars and the galaxies), but the things that are unseen are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:18).

So, when there is a pandemic, or a war, or an economic collapse, or any other unpleasant thing that comes to pass on this poor old broken world, I do not need to be afraid.  God is eternal, beautiful and perfect, and His eternal, beautiful, perfect Spirit lives inside of me, giving life to my spirit, keeping me until the day when I can be with Him face-to-face.

The Lord bless you and keep you

The Lord make His face shine on you 

And be gracious to you 

And give you peace

Forever.

Numbers 6:24-26

Linda the bird

I have hesitated to write this, because in a sense it is not my story to tell.  And yet, it absolutely is.  And yet, it is some other people's story as well, and I need to guard their privacy.  This story is spectacular, and shows the amazing power and goodness of God, who is worthy of all praise.  Therefore, I am going to tell it, but I am withholding certain information and perhaps changing other details, just to be responsible, to be circumspect.

There is a young couple I know and love deeply.  They live far from me.  They are smart, funny, interesting people.  They met in a pet store, which is a detail as quirky and romantic and charming as the two of them.  They moved in together with a dog and a bird, a little family of sorts, unofficial but sincere.  Of course, I would rather they were married, but God is in control.   God knows the things He has planned.  God knows what He is doing.

They do not identify with God.  This is a great sadness to my heart, because I believe that God is the greatest good anyone can ever attain, the Treasure beyond all treasures, the Source of all life, beauty and wisdom.  Since I love them dearly, I long for them to know my Lord and be enfolded into the wonders of His glorious kingdom.  I long for them to walk in His righteousness and love, blessed and covered with the grace that comes through Christ.  I long for them to be saved, indwelt by the precious Holy Spirit, and set apart for eternity in heaven.  They are not open to this.  

Not yet.

The young woman--I'll call her Rachel--had a bird named Linda whom she had owned for many years.  Rachel and Linda were very close.  Linda loved to sit on Rachel's shoulder and follow her around the home.  Rachel loved to awaken in the morning to the sweet sounds of Linda singing.  The young man--I'll call him Nathan--was gaining Linda's confidence, and she was beginning to perch on him, too.  In their happy household, Linda was able to frolic free from her cage most of the time.  

One Sunday in spring, during the height of COVID, Nathan and Rachel ordered a food delivery.  When the delivery guy arrived and they opened the door to grab the sack of food, Linda surprised everyone by swooping out.  Rachel ran after her and followed as far as she could, down blocks and around corners, calling out desperately.  Despite her best efforts, she lost track of her sweet bird, and had to return home empty handed.  She publicized notices that Linda had flown away, on social media and through lost pets organizations, but there was very little she could do.

I saw the notice on social media, and knowing how much Rachel loved that little bird, I contacted her to ask if I could pray.  I prayed as hard as I knew how, longing for Jesus to intervene and display His love and care, but day after day, no word came.  Nathan, feeling terrible for Rachel, purchased her a new bird, a beautiful sky blue bird.  Beauty notwithstanding, it wasn't Linda.

The following Wednesday, I was praying with some friends.  At the end of the the prayer meeting, sheepishly, I mentioned that this bird had gone missing and asked if they would pray with me.  I figured it was far too long--over three days--for the bird to have survived in the wild, but it was on my heart, and I brought it up.

As soon as the prayer meeting was over, I noticed that a message had come in on my phone.  It was Rachel, letting me know that Linda had been found.  I read it once, twice, and then over and over.  "Can this be?" I asked Shawn, holding out my phone. "Rachel says Linda has been found."

Linda had flown 35 miles over the course of three days.  On Wednesday afternoon, she arrived in a neighborhood where a man was out working in his yard.  He had parked his truck in his driveway, and Linda flew into one of the open workboxes on the back of it.  Any ordinary man might have been annoyed to see a bird fly into his workbox, and simply shooed her out.  But this man actually worked with the local animal rescue chapter, and he recognized that Linda was an exotic species.  He approached her, quieted her, and contained her.  Then he looked up missing birds, because he knew how to look for people who were asking for help finding lost pets.  Since Rachel had posted to a lost pets website, from there it was quick work to get in touch and make the connection.  He called Rachel and sent her a photo of Linda in his home.  He even drove the 35 miles back to Rachel and Nathan's town the next day, and delivered the bird to them personally.  Linda was fine, except that she had lost her tail-feathers.

Only God.  Seriously.  Only God could orchestrate this.  Gratitude welled up in my heart like a spring that must overflow.  The Lord is good, and full of lovingkindness.  The Lord has compassion on all He has made.  (Psalm 145)

The last time we saw Nathan and Rachel, they told us that ever since her Big Adventure, Linda has been all the more attached to Rachel, and wants to be with her, practically right on her, always.  Nathan said to me, "Linda thought she wanted to fly away into the wide, wild world and have crazy adventures, but she learned.  She found out it's a dangerous place for little birds out there, and the best place to be is in your nice, safe home with the people who love you.  Everything she ever really wanted is right here."  He also told me, at another point and as an aside, "Yeah, I still haven't figured out how that bird came back."  In my heart of hearts, though, I have to believe he knows.

Dear Lord Jesus, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. (Psalm 90:1)  

Our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you. (Augustine)  

You make known to me the path of life;

You will fill me with joy in Your presence,

with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 16:11

2021 is coming

We are almost to the end of 2020, which some may say is a good thing, but I hesitate to rush eagerly into 2021.

For one thing, there's that old saying, "Out of the frying pan, into the fire."  Nobody yet knows the extent the impact of COVID-19 will have on the world economy.  The current regime change in United States government is unlikely to be helpful in that regard.  I am not particularly pro-anything, in terms of our government and the options it has been offering us.  Still, you have to admit that major changes are not generally a key to stability during times of crisis.  Providentially, the United States government is not particularly significant in relation to the vast eternal plan of the God of the Universe.  Even the entire world economy has no power over our God, who created heaven and earth, matter, space and time.  Humankind is prone to worship money and power and fame.  Humankind is prone to put faith in riches to buy peace, joy and health.  Humankind looks to earthly leaders for all these things as well, and when the powers of earth fail at knowing how to manage a virulent virus that nobody has ever seen before, people get angry regardless of what is done or left alone.  Nobody, absolutely nobody, is going to come close to pleasing everybody, and yet we are always looking for a gifted leader who will lead us into utopia.  We are always angry at each woebegone emperor, king or president who fails us, as all will, who attempt to perform in a role that is truly only God's.

God will teach us.  God is teaching us.  When we put our hope in the wrong things--governments, leaders, scientists, businessmen, economic systems--bad things happen.  Bad things are happening, and they will continue to happen, yet those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they shall not be put to shame, they will not be disappointed.

I've been immensely thankful for my word of the year this year: Abide.

I memorized a number of verses about abiding: 

John 15: 4 -- "Abide in me and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me."

Psalm 27:4 -- "One thing have I asked of the Lord, that I will seek after: that I may dwell [abide] in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple."

And the one I think may be my favorite...

Psalm 91:1 -- "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty."

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.  I love that picture so much.  As we sheltered in place these last months, quarantining at home, quiet, alone, isolated, I pondered the shelter of the Most High, a high and lofty place (Isaiah 57:17), yet somehow, through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, a place that reaches down to both fill and surround me.  I take refuge in the shadow of His wings (Psalm 57:1), until the storms of destruction pass by.

Psalm 5:11 has been a similar comfort to me, although it does not use the word abide, or even the word dwell.  Still, it speaks of God's refuge and protection, precious gifts we needed so much this year:

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice.  Let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exalt in you.

Then it goes on, in verse 12, to say:

For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favor as with a shield.

Refuge.  Protection.  Cover.  Shielding.  Shelter.  This is what God is for us when we abide in Him, when we make Him our dwelling place (Psalm 90:1).

We, in our weakness, take refuge in the perfect, holy, righteous and merciful God.  Although we are broken and full of flaws, He gathers us in, close to His heart, and washes us with the blood of Jesus.  He breathes His Spirit into us, bringing forth new life, new creation.  He plants His word and His ways deep into our hearts, transforming them into hearts that seek Him, desire His goodness, long for His Kingdom.  He does all these things.  He covers us with favor, with grace, because He has implanted His own righteousness in us when we had none of our own.  

He is everything.  

He is our breath; the very life that courses through our bodies comes only and directly from Him.  He creates physical life, and although--through sin--physical life has become separated from spiritual life, God is always at work putting them back together again as He redeems His people and implants His Holy Spirit into us.  He makes us alive.

He is the water of life, pouring Himself out over us, softening our ridges and enabling us to receive the seed of His Word of Truth, which is ultimately Christ Jesus the Lord, who came to show us the Father.  Wherever God pours out His Spirit, life grows and flourishes.  He makes us spiritually fertile.

He is our food, the nourishment of our souls, our daily bread.  We need to read His Word and listen to His voice each day, taking Him in, ruminating, swallowing, feasting on His great love.  He gives Himself to us to make us whole, to open our eyes to truth, to strengthen us so we can comprehend His incomprehensible love and thus be filled with all His fullness (Ephesians 3:18-19).  He makes us strong and full.

He is our shelter, our abode.  We dwell in Him and He in us, and He protects us, covers us.  He Himself holds the fate of our faith in His Holy hands, promising that not one of His children will be plucked away from Him (John 10:28).  He is the invincible tower of strength, the rampart around us (Isaiah 26:1).  He keeps us safe.

He is our clothing.  He removes from us our garments of sin and shame, and replaces them with the very righteousness of Jesus Christ who lived a perfect life of love and humility (Isaiah 61:10, Colossians 3:10-14).  As we wear this clothing and seek to walk in Jesus' footsteps, filled with His Spirit, we take on the beauty and nobility of Christ.  He makes us glorious.

Without Him we are like a dead branch, hanging loose in a tree until a storm knocks it to the ground and someone finds it and burns it up in a bonfire.  But when we come to the Lord, open our hearts to Him, respond to His love, we become treasured children, cared for with the utmost compassion and wisdom.

I have loved the word Abide this year.   It was especially helpful to me as I went through another cross-country move.  Where do I live?  I live in Christ.

Thank you, Lord, for leading me to contemplate what it means to abide in You.  When You help me learn to abide, You are gently teaching me humility and dependence, while You simultaneously comfort and protect me.  You truly are my hiding place, my fortress, my stronghold.  As such, because You are full of miracles and paradoxes, You do not sequester me, but You send me out, a vessel full of Your Spirit--in fact, by some mystery, Your abode--to touch others with Your loving power with which you have touched and filled me.  How can I possibly be worthy of this calling?  Only because You clothe me with Your righteousness and shine on me in order to shine through me.  I am filled with both gratitude and fear as I think about these things.   Help me remember that all things are possible with You.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Thank you for being all, and everything, and more than enough.  Amen.

I think my word for 2021 may be Listen.  I need to listen, listen hard, find out if this is right, find the way.  Lord, help me find the scripture that will teach me about listening as You would have me listen.