I'm trying to get memories down. Why? I don't know. You just never know when something is going to pop into your head ever again, so sometimes it is good to write things down on the spot, or as close to it as possible.
When I was pregnant with Shannon I was awfully sick. I didn't know a person could have an upset stomach for that long and not die. At the time, I was working for a department store, writing their ads. However, they ran one ad a week in the Sunday paper, so there really wasn't much to do over a forty hour week. Maybe that's why they went out of business. When the store closed, one of the vice presidents very kindly approached me and said, "And I want to be sure that you know I don't hold you responsible for the fact that we have gone under." Given that I was a 23 year old who had just graduated from college and was working outside my major, and that I had been employed by them for all of six months, the thought that I was responsible for their failure had never crossed my mind, honestly, but I guess it was nice of him to try to put me at ease.
But near the end of my employment with them, I was pregnant and sick. I spent days at home in my bed, watching the room spin in a haze of green nausea. One day I finally thought I might be able to drag myself to work, so I got up, showered, dressed, and Shawn did my hair because holding my hands over my head was beyond my abilities just then.
In those days we had but one car, the maroon Chevy Cavalier. Shawn dropped me off at the bus stop and continued on to work. He was in a master's degree program through his office, and he had class that day. As I rode the bus into downtown Syracuse, I got woozier and woozier. Suddenly I realized that I was not going to make it, so I pulled the cord, ran to the front of the bus and jumped off as soon as the driver screeched to a halt.
I had no idea where I was, but there was a hardware store in front of me, and it appeared to be open. I ducked in and gasped, "Do you have a bathroom?" The man quickly escorted me to a small bathroom where I closed the door and promptly lost the grapefruit I had somehow managed to choke down for breakfast.
I came out weaving and looking for a place to sit down. Somebody pulled up a large bucket of joint compound and offered it to me for a chair. "My daughter always gets motion sickness when she rides them buses," said a man, trying to put me at ease. I explained that, actually, I was expecting, and asked to borrow a phone (this was before cell phones) to call my husband.
Shawn left class, and somehow he found the place. To this day I do not know where I was. He drove me home and put me back to bed. I'm glad I have not been pregnant for a long time. I feel for people who are pregnant and sick... some of us are not at our best while we gestate.