Musings after walking the dog

Today I was walking Duffy,
and the wind felt the same as it had on the day Schubert died,
and it made me cry.

I don't think I was ever able to write about that, and I don't think I can yet, not all of it.  But today I remembered the wind on that hard day, and the way it felt and smelled like God was in it, quiet yet strangely sparked with vitality.  Schubert was in acute pain and distress.  I had taken him out to the front yard.  He stumbled, and lay down in the overgrown grass with his soft little nose turned up to the breeze, the God-breeze, like he was saying that he was ready to go home.  I squatted in the yard behind him, trying to keep breathing, as the tears ran down my face, the way they are now. 

O God, why death?  I know why.  Because of sin.  Jesus wept over death.  Jesus wept at Lazarus' tomb.  Jesus wept for all the pain and suffering and sorrow that have fallen on the sons of men.  Then He went to the cross, and died a ghastly, tortuous death, to save us from the folly of our wicked hearts, from the curse of sin we have brought down on ourselves.  Maybe that day outside Lazarus' tomb was part of what galvanized the humanity of Christ to be strong enough, offended enough, to take on the foe through God's astonishingly paradoxical battle plan.

This world is so beautiful, so many leaves swaying in the sunlight and the fanciful currents of the breezes that ebb and flow around us.  Birds chirp.  Water sparkles.  The sky spreads wide and blue.  Strawberries ripen.  God, you made it all, and you delight in it, and you are going to redeem it for perfection, make it all new, unsullied by the stains of rebellion.  You are going to fix all of creation for us, and you are going to fix us, make us fit for your new, perfected heaven and earth.  You will bring it all together and inhabit it with us.  This is our hope if we will only put our faith in you.

O God, sometimes it seems like there is too much, too much to bear.  Sometimes it even seems as though there might be too much for you to handle, but that could never be true.  Thank you that nothing is impossible for you.  Thank you that all things are possible for you.

Rescuer
Redeemer
Merciful Savior
Artist of all Creation
Almighty Lord of the Universe
Commander of Hosts of Angels
Healer
Deliverer
Eternal Father
Promise Keeper
Tender Shepherd
The One who Loves me.

Jesus, you love me.  Help me understand and believe how much you love me.  I desperately need your mercy and your love.  And the people I love desperately need your mercy and your love.  

Jesus, you have already poured yourself out for us, 
but we pray that in the pouring out, 
you will also pour in.  
Use a funnel, Lord.  Pour your Spirit into our hearts, into our very bodies, that we may know you, trust you, reflect you, and shower you into the world around us.