I like this picture. Those are strawberries from my back terraces, grown in the shade. Perhaps the lack of sunshine is what makes them so sour. Honestly, for how active our sassy chipmunk is, I didn't think we'd have half a shot at any strawberries, but I've harvested a few, and they seem to be untouched. These, I grabbed while puttering, and I set them here, on the arm of the chair on the front porch, to keep them clean while I continued to weed and water.
We planted sweet potato vine in our pots this year, and its growth is vastly outpacing everything else. You can't tell because of the nice blurring of the background in this picture, but the pots are wonky. It's okay. That's the way I like my garden: lots of growth, lots of color, and not too much plan. I will never win an award, but I am happy with what results from my efforts. Maybe that's how I write, too.
Sometimes a person writes something and wishes she hadn't. I do. But even more often, I say things and wish I hadn't. I'm not sure whether it happens to other people, but there are times when I start to remember all the cringe-worthy moments of my life, stupid things I've said, or unkind, or embarrassing, all the awful moments that I wish I could undo, but I can't. When those kinds of thoughts well up--bad memories, regrets, sorrows--it can be paralyzing. One is tempted to feel defined by one's mistakes.
That, of course, is exactly what Satan wants us to feel: lousy, hopeless and defined by our mistakes.
But God gives us grace, and grace is forgiveness, coupled with the power of the Holy Spirit to renovate our hearts and make us "new creatures," beautiful creatures defined by the redemption of Christ.
This morning, I was feeling rotten about so, so many things. I took it to Jesus and told Him what I was thinking and feeling. He lovingly reminded me that He gives more grace, that His power is made perfect in weakness, that when I humbly bow before Him and confess my need, He will lift me up and fill me with His bountiful Holy Spirit.
Jesus loves me. He demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still messed up, blind to glory and shackled by the chains of sin, He died for us, to free us. Jesus didn't come to condemn--we were already condemned. Jesus came to save us from already existing condemnation. God so loved the world. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sin.
(See Romans 5:8, John 3:16-17, 1 John 4:10.)
Jesus loves me and treats me with grace, even though I am a mess. He reminded me that His forgiveness removes my sins as far as the east is from the west. I do not need to walk in shame, because Jesus loves me and lavishes grace on me. It doesn't matter whether I was horrendously wicked or stupendously tasteless. Jesus loves me, forgives me, accepts me, and invites me to get up and try again, this time depending on Him, on His Holy Spirit alive and living in my soul.
"My grace is sufficient for you," He tells me (1 Corinthians 12:9). I can walk in victory because of Jesus. "Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame," (Psalm 34:5).
I prayed that Jesus would take the devil's wiles and turn them against him, and Jesus reminded me that the more I cringe over my mistakes, the more thankful I become for His salvation. When Satan piles on the guilt and shame, I can pile on the praise for all that Jesus has done for me, releasing me from the clutches of sinful desire and inviting me to be the recipient of His great and precious promises and a partaker of His Divine Nature! I grow in humility and gratitude and joy. My God can do this miracle, too, this miracle in my heart.
The One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
~1 John 4:4
Amen.
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